


Aching for your touch

by meemeestan



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: 1930s, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Depression, Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified, M/M, Memory Loss, Multi, Panic Attack, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Prison, Recovery, Sam Wilson is amazing, Smut, Steve Needs a Hug, Steve gets hugs, Suicidal Thoughts, Tony is a good guy, Torture, Wanda is adorable, bucky wakes up from cyro, clint doesnt know whats going on, fuck hydra, its sad, kinda kidnapping, running away from problems, so is nat, suicide note, t'challa is a new sugar daddy, the chair not on bucky though im sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-19
Updated: 2017-04-19
Packaged: 2018-10-20 19:55:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10669677
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meemeestan/pseuds/meemeestan
Summary: All Steve wanted was Bucky.OrThe one in which Bucky is in cyro and Steve gets depressed.Kinda





	Aching for your touch

**_"I'm with you till the end of the line pal."_ **

 

 

As he gained his first breath there was only one thing on his mind. Afraid to open his eyes and to see what's in front of him, what he missed, what year was it, Was he here? Was he alive?

With that though he opened his eyes and whispered "Steve." as his eyes adjusted the only people in front of him were scientists, T'challa and Natasha.

His mouth curled into a frown. "Where is he?" with that finally a response. "We don't know, " said Natasha as he stepped out of his chamber and looked around. "Is he dead?" Nat frowned and repeated herself.

"Tell me everything."

 

 

 

 

**24 Hours Earlier**

 

He was lying on the ground, background noises melting into each other. He couldn't hear what Sam was saying, he didn't want to really but no one needed to know that. 1 year 6 months 4 days. That's how long he hasn't been living

. Not that he was really living before that. He finally had him. He had him back after 70 years in the ice, 70 years of Bucky fighting to be human. He never knew what being dead on the inside meant till after the fall. Many said that flying a plane into the ocean to save your country is heroic. Steve always knew that it wasn't that. Without him, he wasn't living. And if that meant not breathing at all so be it.

And yet here he was sitting in a tiny hotel room just outside of Stockholm thinking about his best friend. The shower was terrible and the room was never warm but Steve was used to the cold. Being cold always made him feel like he was with Bucky in a sense. Morbid is what Sam told him when he found him sitting naked on the bathroom floor 2 years ago while they were searching for him.

 

" _Steve," Sam asked as he knocked on the door for the third time as the anxiety started to gather in his chest._

_"Look, man, if you're not gonna answer I will come inside and I don't give a flying fuck( pun intended he thought) if you're butt naked," Sam said as Steve continued to be lost in his mind. I'm losing it he thought. He was naked on the bathroom floor while the hot shower that was running turned cold long ago. He was alive, he was alive and yet he didn't want him._

_"Steve man I'm coming in," Sam said as he opened the door and was completely not ready for what he was. A 6'2 super soldier never looked so small. He was sobbing naked on the floor, with his back against the shower door that was only half opened. "Steve," he said softly as he approached him and squatted next to him_

_. "Hey, Hey look at me." he continued as he waited for Steve to look up. Fuck he thought. Just fuck. As Steve looked up, his eyes bloodshot and still sobbing he asked: "Why are you sitting on the bathroom floor in the cold?" Steve shook his head and looked even smaller._

_Fuck he thought again as he took him into his arms and hugged him. God this man is lacking so many hugs. Steve started sobbing harder and through them, he whispered. " H- He's ru-" he tried as he hiccuped. "Hey man, it's okay take your time." He said and he looked around for a towel. "But in the meantime let's find you a towel and get you warmed up. Okay?" he asked as he started to get up with him._

_Steve stood and pointed to the toilet seat and Sam got him his towel. As they walked out of the bathroom and Sam sat him down on the bed he continued. "He's runn- running from me so whe- when I'm sitting in the co- cold I feel like he's here." as Steve said that Sam first didn't understand but then it hit him. Fuck. He thought as he realized. "Oh man, tha-._

"Steve for fuck's sake stop zoning out," Sam yelled as Steve stepped out of his trance. "I'm sorry, um what were you talking about?" he asked as he looked at him. "What's the last thing you remember?" Sam asked as Steve tried to remember but nothing came to his mind.

Fuck he thought. How long was I zoning out he asked himself as he answered Sam with a simple "No idea sorry." Sam sighed and continued to talk about the plan. "Tony might be there so we keep a low profile," Sam said as Steve took a deep breath. God he wished Tony would just call him. The guilt was eating him up. He couldn't take it anymore. " Nothing says party than a Stark attending."

He smiled at Sam and got up to go for a run in the cold Swedish air. "Where are you going man it's 4 am," Sam asked with a disapproving look on his face. "I mean Nat's gonna come soon and then we leave don't you think a nap instead a run would be better?" Steve shook his head as he shut the door.

 

 

–

 

 

They all knew Steve wasn't in the best mindset since Barnes went back in cyro to get his mind clear of Hydra and their bullshit. They all knew that on half of Steve's missions he was, well he was borderline suicidal. They all knew that after he escorted Barnes into the cyro chamber that he left the lab and went to the gym and ran, punched and did anything until his limbs were bleeding and there was a hole in the drywall as well a crying blonde on the floor. They all knew that he didn't let anyone help.

Natasha tried to talk to him multiple times, tried to get him to talk to a therapist. But it would always end in the same way. A polite "I'm fine Nat. Stop worrying." and then he left with a smile to go beat up another punching bag until his knuckles bled.

They almost never even knew that He and Barnes were more than just friends. One night Steve was sitting next to Barnes' cyro chamber and crying into his hands with both of their dog tags in hand quietly whispering the words "happy anniversary". The only reason they even knew ( They being Nat, Sam, Wanda and sometimes Clint) because Wanda was passing by the lab and heard him. As she heard that her heart broke even more than it did when she saw Tony's biggest fear back in Sokovia. When she heard what she heard she quickly walked passed and sought Sam and Natasha.

At first, they didn't say anything but as Steve fell more and more apart on his own because he never said anything. One night they came up to him and asked. Steve was in the kitchen making himself a sandwich.

Good, he was eating, Sam thought as he started. "Hey pal can we talk to you for a sec?" he asked with a smile and all three sat down on the couch. Steve looked up with a confused look but nodded and sat down across from them and started eating his sandwich. With a nervous smile, Sam asked. "What was- well is Bucky exactly to you?"

As the question flew around the air around him his sandwich fell into his plate and suddenly he had no appetite. At first, it was panic. It always was panic even though he found out the queer had rights and weren't going to jail. Gay marriage was legal in America. He nodded at the question and started.

 

"My best friend," he said simply. "He always will be. I mean I've known him since I was 8." he said with a smile of the memory of him and Bucky meeting.

 _So he started with that. It was 1926 and he was on his way back from school as he heard a couple of older boys picking at a girl. They were yelling all sorts of things and his ma never raised a coward. He came up to them and yelled at them. With all of his voice and they just laughed and came after him. The girl was mouth opened, shocked staring at him ( the girl would, later on, turn out to be Becca Barnes, the younger sister of his best friend who came running home yelling to her brother that a small boy defended her but that he was getting in a fight with a couple of fifth graders. In which Bucky Barnes the older and cooler brother would, of course, go find the boy and defend him from those idiots. And seemed to continue doing that till he was fallin'  out of a train in '46. But that was all a long way to go.) As Steve saw her face he waved at her to go and boy did she run. But he never saw that because a first was already in his face and then he fell to the ground. A few minutes later that honest to heart felt like seconds to Steve, the future love of his life (that would also come later on in his life as one morning, at the crack of dawn Steve would wake up with wet underwear and confusing feelings and memories about the dream he had about his best friend. Which of course he wouldn't speak of one eventful evening in 1936._ ) _best friend and second in command many years later. The story was stopped by Wanda asking a question._

_"Wait so you're telling me that the only reason you met is because some shithead was insulting his sister?" Steve smiled and nodded. "So after that, we became best friends and were inseparable until we got into a big fight I think it was 1936." Steve continued as Nat nodded at him to tell them._

_"I uhh... I finally realized I was in love with him." All three of them nodded not surprised. Steve presumed that someone saw him a few weeks back."Anyways I finally realized I was in love, head over heels with my best friend and I kind of freaked out. I think my ma always knew. She never said anything about it until that day. Bucky came by and started talking about this_ dame _he met. Sherly I think it was her name. No Cheryl. Anyways he's here talking about this girl with perfect red lips, perky breasts and blonde silky hair to die for. He was as usual smitten. And I was fuming. He was here talking about this girl who he could totally have and I was_ beeing _heartbroken." he takes a deep breath and continues._

_"I was at first short and uninterested. He didn't understand what was wrong. But I was so mad, so I yelled at him. We were fighting within minutes and I made him leave.He left and I didn't see him again for a good 2 weeks._

_Until he showed up at my door drunk one night." Steve was sitting on his bed as he heard thrashing and yelling in the hall, he chose to ignore it thinking it was probably one of his drunk neighbors. Then he heard a knock on his door, continued with banging. He went to open it and Bucky was standing in front of him._

_"Stevie there you are." Bucky said with a drunk smile and stumbled in. He sat on the couch taking a swing out of the bottle of vodka in his hand. Steve quickly swooped it out of his hand and Bucky whined. "You never let me have fun Stevie." he said with a smile then continued. "Cheryl dumped me," he said with a grimace. "I'm too bummed out over you and she said I'm no fun anymore." he said with and pulled Steve onto the couch to sit next to him_ _._

_Steve uncomfortably sat next to him and looked at Bucky. His arm draped around his shoulder and his breath stank of alcohol. Bucky leaned into Steve's ear and whispered. "Why don't you want me no more?" he said with a frown. " Ya 'sed to be my best guy what 'append," he said with a hiccup._

_Steve's mouth fell opened. The reply aching to come out was " 'cuz I love you and you don't love me back._ _" but Steve didn't say that he just looked away wincing._

_Bucky shuffled "Stevie look at me." he said with a low tone and he took his chin into his hand and turned his head. Steve had tears in his eyes._

_"All I ever wanted was you, Stevie." Bucky whispered and leaned into Steve. He could feel Steve's breath hitch and tried to pull away but in that moment Bucky leaned in more and his lips were on him._

_Steve stood there frozen as his best friend had his lips on him. As Bucky started to pull away and started mumbling an apology Steve kissed back harder. Bucky's mouth parted and Steve deepened the kiss. Bucky pushed Steve down against the couch and grinned into the kiss licking the blonde's lower lip. Steve moaned into him as Bucky moved down his jaw and onto his collar bone. Sucking at his skin and leaving little kisses Steve's neck stretched out as his pants grew tighter. As Bucky reached the hem of his shirt they pulled apart so Steve's shirt would come off and then Bucky's mouth found Steve's left nipple and sucked at his while reaching down to Steve's pants and gripping his cock. Steve moaned loudly as stopped sucking on his nipple and traced down his abdomen with kisses._

_"Oh god Buck, touch me." Steve moaned while he was tossing around. " Where baby" Bucky smiled back as he unbuckled Steve's pants._

_He gripped his cock and his mouth nuzzled into it as he asked "Here?" Steve moaned as he gripped Bucky's dark hair and whimpered as Bucky's tongue licked over the already wet fabric. "Baby I can't hear you." With that Steve whimpered out a yes and Bucky pulled down his underwear to reveal his leaking member._

_"So hard for me." Bucky smiled as he sucked on the tip of Steve's leaking cock. Steve moaned harder and gripped his hair. Bucky released him and said " Stevie you gotta be quiet so the neighbors can't hear ya falling apart underneath me." he said with a smile and took him back into his mouth and sucked down on him so he was in the back of his throat. Steve moaned a few quiet "fuck's and oh god buck" while his hips bumped against his best friends mouth. He choked for a second but pulled off and continued to lick against his tip knowing it would drive him insane._

_Steve pulled him back up and kissed him as he moaned because Bucky started grinding his hips against him. "Oh god, Stevie you make me so hard."_ _He mumbled against his mouth and then pulled away to take off his shirt and continued to grind back down on him._

_Steve was falling apart beneath him so he took his pulsating and leaking cock in his hand and started jerking him off. "O- Oh god" Steve moaned loudly as Bucky's mouth quieted him down._

_Within a few pumps, he was coming. The look on his face almost made Bucky reach an orgasm himself as he pumped Steve through it praising him "Mhm baby you look so beautiful." in that moment he could see Steve's cheeks heat up. As he calmed down Bucky released him and licked his fingers which Steve whimpered to._

_Bucky smiled at him feeling completely sober and leaned in for a kiss but Steve pulled away. "I wanna make you feel good too." he said with a small voice as looked down at the erection Bucky was storing in his pants._

_Bucky nodded and flipped them over as Steve unbuckled his pants and pulled down. He was greeted with no underwear and a leaking member. Steve gave him a small kiss on the tip and continued to trace kissed around his hips and inner thigh. Bucky groaned to his teasing feeling like he would explode if Steve wouldn't touch him soon. "Stevie baby, hmm." he moaned as Steves' mouth was already wrapped around his balls._

_Sucking on them and nuzzling his nose into his groin Steve moaned and that earned him a long whimper from the man beneath him. As Steve moved up and sucked on the leaking thick cock of his best friend Bucky pushed his hands into his silky blonde hair and pulled him down on him. Steve started sucking and Bucky was close. Steve could hear it in his voice as his moans deepened. Steve fastened his pace and with a buckle of Bucky's hips, he felt him coming into the back of his throat. As he swallowed Bucky moaned loudly and pulled Steve up for a kiss._

_As they kissed Bucky took his shirt and cleaned up Steve's chest and they got up and went to Steve's room. Crawling into the covers and pulling Steve in with him. "Buck.." Steve started but Bucky hushed him and cuddled him into his arms. With that, they fell asleep._

_Steve woke up to the sound of Bucky's_ snores _and panicked. He started to get out of his grip, with all his moving around Bucky woke up and Steve froze in Panic._

_"Steve?" Bucky asked with a concerned face. "Uhm... we can act like last night never happened and we can go back to being friends," Steve answered with a constant burning pain in his chest as he felt like crying._

_Bucky's face fell. And then he cleared his throat. "I- If you want I guess..." he said with hesitation getting out of bed looking for his clothes._

_As he stood up he heard Steve whimpered and his heart fell into his chest. He turned around to see the small blonde looking away and wiping his eyes._

_"Steve.." he said with hesitation as he gripped his shoulder and Steve winced. "Stevie... why- why are you crying?" he asked with a lump in his throat. And with that Steve started sobbing so Bucky pulled him into his chest. "Bec- because I love you..." He whispered into his chest and Bucky smiled._

_"That's nothin' to cry for ya punk." He kissed the top of his head. Steve froze in shock and looked up at Bucky. "Wha- what?" he asked. "I love you too." He smiled at him and leaned into a kiss._

As Steve finished his story Sam was wiping his eyes and Natasha had a sad look in her eyes while Wanda leaned into a hug. Steve wrapped his arms around her.

"You.. you could've told us, Steve," Natasha said with a small smile.

"I never told anyone about what he was to me. He would always be my best friend whatever happened so I never bothered to tell anyone after I woke up from the ice and found out it was legal," he said with a sad smile.

"Back in our day men would be thrown into jail, humiliated for what they loved.. uh, we were always scared," he told them and continued. "Even when we were living together a few months later after my ma died we were scared. Buck never stopped seeing gals and going out and takin them dancing."

Steve told them thinking back at the memory ( Which wasn't exactly a happy one because even though they were together and Bucky loved him more than life itself he would still come home with the stank of women's perfume, the smell of sex and lipstick stains all the way down to his groin.

Steve understood, he really did it didn't mean he wouldn't cry himself to sleep after it. Bucky even heard him most of the time and would kiss him under the ear and whisper I'm sorry and that they never meant a thing. He would also, later on, find out how Bucky hated himself every time he went out with them. And 70 years later he would find the lost letters Bucky wrote him during the war. He would cry himself to sleep reading them.)

 

-

 

The thing that they never knew is how much Steve was tired. The mission was supposed to be an In and out type of thing it was supposed to be easy. Fighting giant mutated spiders that some Swedish asshole thought were a good idea to let lose was supposed to be easy. He didn't have to live to fight if there was anything left in him it was fighting. He was half way through fighting one of the spiders when Natasha yelled into his earpiece to clear out because Stark was there. Steve looked up after he killed the nasty creature, he probably looked awful, covered in black blood. When he looked up he saw someone he hadn't seen in almost 2 years and it still hurt as it did the day he left him in Siberia. He never felt sorry for defending Barnes it was the guilt of knowing he hurt Tony.

He started running in the opposite direction when he heard a screech, he turned around cursing himself for having morals and saw tony go down as a spider bigger than the others jumped on Tony and as he tried to blast it away the spider wrapped him up and he fell. He fell 200 meters and started running towards him. Even though he heard Nat and Sam yelling for him to leave. He killed the spider on top of tony and opened his mask. He was unconscious and he checked for a pulse. As he was convinced he was okay and turned around to leave he was surrounded by helicopters and people yelling for him to surrender.

He raised up his hands and kicked away his gun( he hasn't been sporting the shield since Siberia) and at that moment he felt reinforced handcuffs around his arms and seconds before he was knocked unconscious he heard an awake Tony Stark yelling. “What??” he yelled and continued. “What are you doing let hi-” and with that everything went black.

 

 

-

 

Steve fell in and out of consciousness waking up every few seconds only to be knocked out again.

He briefly remembered the pain and a chair and a person yelling “ Oh god he's awake.” before slipping back into the dark.

He woke up in pain, his ear and head were bleeding only from one side and the light in the room was too bright he could barely see. He was cuffed down to the floor and couldn't really move either. He felt so weak, dizzy and couldn't recall much. In midst of all this confusion, he heard a beaming voice which then registered as General Ross.

" Rise and shine Captain Rogers, I think you've had enough beauty sleep. 56 hours generally is a long time.” Ross said with a smirk.

Still confused looked up and saw Ross across him through reinforced glass smirking at him. “The UN has decided you are too big of a threat to have a trial so we must eliminate you. But I have a better idea.”

Ross said with a smile and with that, a group of men entered his cell and carried him out to another room. He felt an injection and everything started to get blurry and numb. Before he knew it he was strapped to a chair and a mouthpiece to bite on and a part of a machine was on part of his face. At first, he was confused but then it hit him. It's the chair, Hydra's chair and before he could object he felt electricity hit him and all he could do is scream.

 

-

 

After that everything felt like a blur he couldn't remember who he sometimes but then he started repeating his name rank and serial number.

"Steve Rogers, Captain, -32477684-” he'd do It over and over and it reminded him of Bucky. Yes, he knew who Bucky was.

"Best friend, lover, sergeant” he'd say that over and over. Trying to remember everything. He couldn't let them make him forget.

But with every time they'd put him back, he'd get more and more desperate.

“Best friend, lover, sergeant”“Best friend, lover sergeant”

"Best friend, lover sergeant."

"Best friend, lover sergeant” he was saying it over and over and then he forgot who he was talking about.

He screamed. He yelled and cried he begged to get killed.

Half way through him reciting “Best friend, lover sergeant” he saw the door beam open and he looked up.

It was Tony. He had a sad look on his face. “Tony?” he asked loudly and he saw a smile. “Yea Cap it's me.” Steve looked confused and Tony's smile fell the moment he processed what he just told him.” Tony, Tony I have this letter I need you to give it to Bucky.” He said and he put it on the opening the guards would use for food. Tony's face fell even more.

“No. No, you're gonna give it to him yourself.” He said sadly. “ No no I'm not, I can barely remember who he is I just need you to give him that. I don't have much time left, please. I know you hate me just please do this for me.” Steve started sobbing. Tony felt his heart drop. Barnes wasn't just his best friend and the realization hit him like a brick so he took the letter and put it in his jacket.

"My god Steve what have they done to you,” he said thinking about how he was gonna kill Ross himself. “I'm gonna get you out of here I need to hang on okay.” Steve nodded.

Tony was confused on how Steve got a pen and paper here but hey he was Captain America. He left the room and turned on the sound in Steve's cell. Steve was so tired. God, he wanted to sleep and he hoped Bucky would forgive him. ( Steve at that moment did not know that Tony contacted Natasha and was planning to get him out of there.)

 

**BUCKY**

 

 

“He was unstable?” Bucky roared at Natasha as she finally finished her story on what happened with Steve.

He was in raged he wanted to kill everyone here and he had more than a few ways to do it but right now he needed to save him. Natasha sighed understanding that he is in love with this man.

"Barnes we will find your boyfriend and then you can freak out right now we gotta go. The UN has got him for over a week now.” She said with worry. Bucky's eyes went wide.

“You.. you know about me and Steve? “ he asked with caution. He looked around the room uncomfortably. Natasha answered with a short yes and at that moment Wilson ran into the room.

“ Stark called, he knows where he is and he's waiting for us.” Natasha nodded and started walking toward their weapons room. Bucky followed right after and asked.

"He's alive?” with panic in his voice. Wilson nodded. “The- they've been erasing his memories....” Wilson started and Bucky felt his heart fall.

"What?” he yelled in the middle of the hallway and felt bile coming up from his stomach. He ran to the bathroom and opened the toilet to vomit. As he emptied his stomach Wilson entered.

"Stark says Steve gave him a letter for you and we really need to leave right now.” Sam gave him a sad smile and pressed the button for the toilet to flush and helped Bucky up.

 

-

A few hours later they were all on a quiet with T'Challa himself flying it. Clint told them the plan and that they're meeting Stark within the hour.

When they arrived at the location Bucky wasn't really sure where they were he was too busy thinking about Steve he saw Stark.

"Tony tell us where he is,” Natalia said with a mad tone of her voice. “It's a big SHIELD building up in the south of Russia, it's supposed to abandoned but hey the UN were also supposed to be people with hearts.” They all nodded and made plans on how to infiltrate the building.

“Barnes,” Stark said as Bucky turned to him. “He wanted me to give you this,” he said as he handed him a letter. Bucky nodded at him and they went back to planning.

 

 

**STEVE**

 

He was lying on the floor. Helpless and tired, he just wanted it to all end.

"Best friend, lover, sergeant,” he said it over and over and then the door opened. He looked up and felt his heart drop. They're gonna put me in the chair again he thought.

What he saw was Bucky Barnes fighting guards and shooting one point blank in the head. He thought this was it. I've 100% lost it. “Steve” is what Bucky yelled as he got to him and untied his cuffs.

“No,” Steve yelled and started moving around, kicking and yelling. “Stev-” he couldn't finish because Steve was already sobbing. “No! You won't fry me again I won- for-” he said and hiccuped he finished what he wanted to say and Bucky's heart broke.

"Stevie it's me I swear,” Bucky said thinking of something to prove to him that it's him. With that, he pulled out the letter Stark gave him and smiled at him. Steves' face fell. “Buck?” he asked and touched his face, Bucky smiled at him “ Come on Baby let's get you out of here.”

With that, Bucky helped him up and thought of that day in '41 where Steve saved him from Zola.( Or so he thought.) Bucky confirmed to everyone that Steve is safe through his ear piece and they left the building and entered the qunjet where they waited for regrouping.

A few minutes later the rest of the people were all in and they left.

 

-

At T'Challa's palace, Steve was shipped off to the medical wing and Bucky went with him.

"I missed you.” Steve said to him and Bucky kissed him. Before he could return the kiss Stark entered the room.

“Are you ok- Oh.” he said while he saw them kissing. “I'll leave then.” He said and turned around with that Steve beamed “ No it's okay.” as he pulled away from Bucky while the nurse was taking samples of his blood.

Bucky, of course, didn't let him move away from his and took his hand into his own. Steve gave him a little smile and looked back at Tony. “Uhm I didn't want them to get you just so you know. I fought Ross day and night 'til I found where you were and then I saw you and it's.. “ he stopped “I just never meant for this to happen.” he said shortly and Steve nodded at him and said he understood.

With that Tony left, they still weren't on best terms but they were gonna be okay. He was left alone with Bucky. And now after almost 2 years of Bucky being in cyro he finally had him, and yet he still felt as nervous as he was at 18.

“First of all,” Bucky started “Are you okay? I know they messed with your memory and that you were depre-” Steve cut him off with a kiss, Bucky being touch starved from Steve deepen the kiss and then gave him a small peck at the corner of his mouth.

"I'm okay Buck, the doc told me because of the serum my min-” Bucky cuts him off. “Regenerates. Yes, I know.”

Steve gave him a pained smile because he did know. He really did know. Bucky took out the letter Steve wrote him.

"Uh Stark gave me this when we met up with him.” and then Steve smiled at him.

"Keep it and uh read it if you want..” Bucky nodded and then the nurse walked in and told him that everything is mostly fine and that he should come in tomorrow but for now everything was okay. Bucky and Steve left the medical wing and went to Steve's room, as they lied down Steve's breath hitched. Bucky turned to him with a concerned look.

"Are you gonna go back to cyro?” Steve asked, it hurt thinking about it, he never wanted Bucky to leave but he couldn't be selfish. Bucky shook his head.

 “If it me going back to cyro means that the next time I wake up you are dead I don't think I can take it.” Bucky said with a frown and Steve looked guilty but nodded.

Bucky kissed him and god did he miss him, he missed his mouth, he missed his face and his touch. The kiss got deeper and more passionate Steve gripped his waist and started kissing down his jaw and throat. Kissing and sucking at all the spots he knew would make his lover go mad. Bucky stopped him

"You're 100 percent sure you're okay?” as Steve nodded and took Bucky's shirt off to continue Bucky flipped them over and took all of Steve's clothes off within second and started sucking at his nipple.

"God, you were sensitive when you were little and you were even more when I sucked at these beautiful tits when you got big,” Bucky said as Steve moaned but also turned red because he called his pecks tits.

Bucky continued to kiss down his chest and down his happy trail, with that, he pulled down his boxers for Steve's huge and thick cock to sprain-free already leaking (even though he did have an amazing cock when he was smaller, the thickest thing ever Bucky loved it.)

Bucky took it in his metal arm and started pumping while Steve's moans started getting louder and louder

”Baby bend over for me,” Bucky said as he smacked his ass and Steve whimpered out a “fuck.”

When he bent over and was on his hand and knees Bucky took the lube out of Steve's draw while Steve whined from the loss of contact, he opened the bottle and put it on his fingers. He smacked Steve's ass once more and started licking at his hole. For which Steve enjoyed very much as he raised one hand and started holding the head board as he moaned.

"Oh god, fuck Buck” he would moan out as Bucky pushed one finger into his tight hole.

“Even after all those years my Baby is still as tight as a virgin.” he moaned out as he pulled up against Steve and then Steve wasn't bending over anymore and holding the headboard instead he was sitting on Bucky's lap riding his fingers.

He took his lover's jaw with his metal arm and kissed him. Steve moaned into the kiss and Bucky added a finger and started whispering into his ear.

“Mhm my baby is getting wider.. ready for my cock” he kissed below his ear and continued “My beautiful baby” Steve moaned louder and asked for more and Bucky smiled, “Anything for my baby” as he added a third finger.

"So needy, so needy for my cock.” Bucky whispered into his ear as Steve was getting closer to his orgasm. “Fuck, Fuck Bu- Bucky I'm gonna I'm” He started panting as Bucky's pace got faster.

“Come for me baby, come on “ he put his metal hand on Steve's pulsating cock. Steve started moaning louder and then he was coming.

As he was coming down from his orgasm Bucky pulled out his fingers and sat Steve down the neck to him, he bent over and licked the come off Steve's chest and sucked the tip of his still hard cock to which Steve screamed from the overstimulation.

"Bucky fuck me” Steve panted and his partner nodded. He opened Steve's legs and lubed up his leaking cock and pushed into him, Steve's face was almost as good as his orgasm one and Bucky leaned in to kiss him.

They haven't had sex since 1945 and he was finally in his baby. Bucky started at a slow pace watching Steve fall apart everytime he hit his prostate begging for him to speed up. “Oh- Oh God yes.” Steve yelled as he bit down on Bucky's shoulder and then Bucky sped up.

The feeling of being inside Steve even when he was small was the closest thing Bucky will ever have to heaven. No dame ever felt as good as Steve did. He moaned against his neck while kissing him. It didn't take them long to come. As Bucky pulled out he pulled Steve on to him like he did when he was little and kissed his head.

"I love you.” he smiled against his silky blonde hair and Steve looked up at him with tears in his eyes and a big smile on his face. “I love you too.”

 

In that moment Steve knew they would be okay.

 

 

 

 

**fin**

 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry if this fic has a lot of plot holes and makes no sense it's not my best work and I wrote it on a whim


End file.
